this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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