You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
they need to just BURY HIM!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
