Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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