that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
