The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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