White coat. Heels.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
