Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
