I'm eating all of the evidence.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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