it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
