After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
