I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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