you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize