Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize