we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
