why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I AM VODKA MAN
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
