Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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