I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
