I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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