You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
