This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
