So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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