Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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