Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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