what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
