i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
