We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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