By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
