my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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