I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
