I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
