UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
