Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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