I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
