Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
