he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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