Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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