i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
