Duck Duck Cougar?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
