I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
