i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
