he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
