I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
