Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
