dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
