when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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