he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
