she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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