I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize