Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
