i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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