last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It's just like the Real World with babies
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
