I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
