How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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