Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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