I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
